What kind of sick person are you?

What kind of sick person are you?

As I sit in my bed surrounded by tissues and cold medicine, I have realised that coughs and colds break the population up into one of three categories. These categories are are easily defined as follows:

 

The Duvet Diver

This category is usually reserved for men (sorry) and people in their early 20’s or younger.
On waking with a slight sniffle which may or may not turn into a full blown cold, they immediately decide that they must take at least a week off to recover. After calling work with a Oscar winning performance of “I’m so ill I may expire any second” they spend the rest of the week curled up in a duvet while eating their own body weight in junk food, popping Lemsip capsules like smarties and watching box sets on demand until their head hurts so badly that they have to have a little nap. This brain shattering headache is of course as a result of their severe cold, not 30 hours straight of The Walking Dead.

The Trier

The trier is determine to go to work despite feeling like death warmed up!
They pull themselves out of bed, put their top on backwards, pull on some odd socks and head to work without brushing their hair. When they arrive at work with a Tesco bag full of tissues and Lemsip, they slouch to their desk, coughing and sneezing as they go. They will then sit at their desk with their head hung and eyes half closed, informing anyone who comes close enough exactly how awful they feel. In the unlikely event that their manager doesn’t notice how earth shatteringly ill they they are straight away and send them home where they can revert to being a Duvet Diver, the Trier will make every effort to draw it to their attention while also spreading their germs as widely as possible.
The unspoken aim of every Trier is to be sent home before lunch with their conscience clear. Many are not above resorting to tears to achieve this.

The Survivor

The survivor is a rare breed who works their way through a cold with barely a sniff. In fact, the only way to spot these inhuman creatures is the tell tale sign of tissues tucked into every sleeve and pocket possible.
They will start the day as well groomed and bright eyed as if they were perfectly fit and will only mention having a cold as part of polite conversation. On the rare occasion that they do have a bad cold, which would have the Duvet Diver and Trier rushing to A&E, they will insist on working from home with a nice cup of tea and some fluffy slippers to help them cope.
The survivor nearly always has children and a job they actually enjoy.

 

I know that in the past I have been both a Duvet Diver and a Trier, and with baby asleep beside me, like a ticking time-bomb of neediness, I’m sure I have a woeful future as a Survivor. But the question is, what kind of sick person are you?

 

What kind of sick person are you?

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19 Comments

  1. I so want to be a duvet diver, especially today as I feel shocking! I think I’m a trier trying to be a survivor! I got through today without making a fuss but came home and flopped! Where’s the whiskey ? Thank you for linking up to #ablogginggoodtime ?

  2. I’m both a duvet diver and trier. I puked a lot the other night and was determined to try and get to my language classes. Sadly as I was getting ready, I hurled some more and admitted defeat. Duvet it was! #ablogginggoodtime

    1. I have to admit to being a trier. I generally get as far as getting dressed before sitting down and realising that there is no way in hell I’m getting back up.
      I hope you’re feeling better now x

  3. This was a fun read! And you are so right about men typically being Duvet Divers (have you copywritten that name yet? It’s excellent!).
    I have the black luck of being a survivor. It is a curse, to be sure. You feel so responsible that A) You have to do what you are expected and B) You have to give it your honest best, which unfortunately is just barely below what I’m capable of not-sick.
    I use handkerchiefs though, not tissues πŸ™‚

  4. LOL This made me laugh because I am actually ill at the moment. Some sort of strange virus has been doing the rounds in our house and it won’t leave. Once someone is better, it goes round, and then catches them back up again – which is what has happened to me. I think I can be a bit of all 3, but right now I am in survivor mode. Thanks for sharing with the #dreamteam x
    Annette, 3 Little Buttons recently posted…Best Bloggers Planner – Stick To StiguMy Profile

  5. Haha love it. I think I wish I could be a duvet diver but am forced into being a trier but don’t think I’m ever a survivor! Thanks for linking up to #coolmumclub lovely xoxo

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